2011 November » Nonsense At Work

#541: Mind your own customers

Business, Customers/Service, Trust No Responses »

Nov 302011

Previously on Nonsense At Work: I want you to mine your own business. That’s right. I did say mine, not mind. To mine your business means to get the most out of every customer you already have.

Well, that was then, this is now. Now I want you to mind your existing customers. I recently saw a sign with these words: “Former member? No Enrolment. No Contract. And one hundred dollars credit.”

Now, if I happened to be one of their existing members (or customer, if you prefer), then I would immediately resign my membership. And then re-apply. I mean, for Pete’s Sake, why should a loyal member not also get the one hundred dollars credit?

I’ll tell you why. Because they believe that new members are more worthy than loyal members, that’s why.

This is why I tell you to mind your existing customers before they mind how badly you treat them.

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Listen to the radio version of Mind your own customers (10 most recent radio files)

Video Blog #3 – What nonsense is

Nonsense No Responses »

Nov 282011

#540: Don’t lock up your ideas

Knowledge/Information, Team Work/Building No Responses »

Nov 282011

You cannot own ideas. Did you know that? You simply do not know where an idea came from or where it is going next. Ideas are creations set free by thinking. Once you’ve had an idea it is ‘out there’ beyond your control. Mystics and quantum physicists blame this on the interconnectedness of all things.

So, don’t lock up your ideas. The more you share ideas, the more they come back to you, much improved. Like love, ideas are not diminished when given away.

Is this nonsense? Consider this. Ideas for my radio pieces come to me from people past and present. I cannot say with certainty who said what or wrote that which triggered an idea in me. How can I then claim it as mine?

Sharing my thoughts on the radio is my way of sending ideas ‘out there’ knowing that they will come back to me, much improved. For that I thank you this Thanksgiving holiday.

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Listen to the radio version of Don’t lock up your ideas (10 most recent radio files)

Video Blog #2 The Nonsense Of Management Evolution

Uncategorized No Responses »

Nov 252011

#539: Mine your own business

Business, Customers/Service No Responses »

Nov 222011

As we prepare for Black Friday, I want you to mine your own business. That’s right. I did say mine, not mind.

To mine your business means to get the most out of every customer you already have. But there is a trick to mining your business. Again, banks have shown us how not to do it.

Banks recently tried to mine their existing customers by increasing fees on the use of debit cards. Customers have either defected or now hate their bank even more (if that’s possible). Some banks are now exploring ‘hidden’ fees to mine their customers.

A few bankers have grumbled that ‘we deserve to make a profit’. I agree. However, too many banks still have a colonial mind-set – a mind-set of exploitation, not sustainability.

In my book, there is nothing inherently dishonest about getting the most out of your customers, if the relationship is mutually beneficial. You can bank on that.

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Listen to the radio version of Mine your own business (10 most recent radio files)

#538: Entitled to give thanks

Culture, Motivation No Responses »

Nov 212011

Here we go again, the time of year that highlights entitlement. Thanksgiving is simply too close to Giveme, that other celebrated family holiday.

The one reminds me of Human Rights, the other of Human Obligations.

Human rights are things we have come to expect simply because we are human. However, because this idea of “rights I can expect” has been so beneficial in some parts of the world, it has expanded into “what I am entitled to”. This happened because we conveniently ignore the fact that rights are based on obligations. You cannot demand rights from society if you have not first met your obligations to society. Otherwise you encourage entitlement.

Entitlement is a feeling that you deserve something for nothing. For example, you deserve a bonus without extra effort, a promotion without being competent, time off without working overtime, a gift from Santa without being good.

Oh, wait! Scrub the last one.

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Listen to the radio version of Entitled to give thanks (10 most recent radio files)

#537: The porcupine at work

Team Work/Building, Trust No Responses »

Nov 162011

Setting clocks for winter comes with good and bad news. Mornings are lighter, but also colder. Jack Frost is on the move. It’s time to find a friend to keep you warm.

Have you ever watched how kittens or puppies cuddle together to keep warm? Now imagine a group of porcupines trying the same trick. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

German philosopher Schopenhauer once asked his readers to imaging porcupines huddling together for warmth. As they move closer their quills force them apart; but then the cold drives them closer; and then their quills force them apart; back and forth.

As Schopenhauer explained, they are at the mercy of their discomforts until they find that space that maximizes warmth and minimizes pain.

So I tell you kindly, don’t be at the mercy of your team discomforts. It is possible that the person you think is causing you pain is only trying to keep you warm.

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Listen to the radio version of The porcupine at work (10 most recent radio files)

#536: Being normal in an abnormal economy

Workers/Employees No Responses »

Nov 142011

Psychologist Nick Heather once asked that we imagine two guards working at a Nazi concentration camp. One guard is happy at his job; gets on well with his colleagues; shows few cares or worries. The other guard displays signs of extreme emotional disturbance. He does not get on with his colleagues; he behaves oddly; he does not fit in.

Now for Nick Heather’s trick questions. Which of these two guards is normal and which one abnormal? Which one is healthy and which one sick?

This got me thinking about the warped sense of ‘do unto others’ that this economic growth and decline has triggered. Should I be happy that I have work; that I have relatively few worries; that I get on well with others? Or should I feel uncomfortable, even guilty, that others, once like me, are suddenly in despair, through no fault of their own?

Above all I wonder, am I normal? Am I sick?

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Listen to the radio version of Being normal in an abnormal economy (10 most recent radio files)

#535: Let the (employee) games begin

Nonsense, Power, Workers/Employees No Responses »

Nov 102011

Did you hear the one about the 81 year old CEO who got $100m to retire? (It’s true! Ask his public company, Nabors Industries.)

If this blatant exploitation continues to be tolerated by crony board members and passive shareholders, then expect employees to retaliate with their own form of exploitation.

I’m not talking about faking sick-leave, taking office supplies or wasting time on internet surfing. I’m talking about something worse, namely employees sticking to the letter, not the spirit, of their contract with management.

Strictly speaking, there is nothing wrong with doing exactly what the boss demands – a practice known as malicious compliance. Nor is there anything wrong with not reporting something important; nor with knowingly allowing something to go wrong; nor with swamping a boss, who wants to know everything, with details, documents and reports.

Obviously, there is nothing right about it, either. It’s merely mutual exploitation at work.

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Listen to the radio version of Let the games begin (10 most recent radio files)

#534: Some animals are revolting

Leadership, Motivation No Responses »

Nov 072011

Once upon a time there was a movie called ‘Start the Revolution Without Me’. The narrator of the movie explains that “longstanding grievances between aristocrat and peasant were about to boil over.” And now it seems that the peasants are revolting. Again.

However, I feel that these Occupy Wall Street types are just a little bit late to the revolution. I mean, consider the facts.

According those who know these things, in 1980 your average CEO at your average large company received 42 times more pay than your average worker. In the year 2000, it was 525 times more.

But things are improving! In 2010 the average CEO earned only three hundred and forty three times more than the typical American worker.

Are CEOs finally ready to admit that everybody is equal? I doubt it. Too many are still living according to the Animal Farm Commandment: “Some animals are more equal than others.”

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Listen to the radio version of Some animals are revolting (10 most recent radio files)